Poetry Corner Thread, LIMERICKS

Th Channel was bumpy today
My stomach was in disarray
I walked without balance
Showing lack of sea talents
And was sick much to my dismay.

Some builders were taking a rest

Some builders were taking a rest
One found an established wasps' nest
Th Site Super declared
As he stood and he stared
"These blokes move, when they want, with th best"..!

A snail and an old olive pit

A snail and an old olive pit
Were smelling bad quite a bit
But the snail didn't care
About being there
'Cause the oil was good for its zit.

The sunlight shone down on the bay

The sunlight shone down on the bay
Where Selma, th nude maiden lay
She was somewhat surprised
When at length realised
School excursions were planned for that day.

Ault Ferdie th malt whusky gent

Ault Ferdie th malt whusky gent
Had a back that was withered and bent
But after a dram
He could race the last tram
Back to his home in Kent


When praying with good Friar Tuck

When praying with good Friar Tuck
His companion was hit by a truck
His injuries mended
But quite unintended
Th repairs to th truck made a dukw.

A couple of duelers in France

A couple of duelers in France
Faced each other as if in a trance
One was shot in the head,
He was quite dead
The other made a mess in his pants.


On the village green the maiden wept.

On the village green the maiden wept.
For her boyfriend was rather inept.
Instead of a cuddle
He managed to muddle
Th keys for th place where he slept.

I hear th Greek Drachma is back

I hear the Greek Drachma is back
They've given the euro the sack
They're a long way from Brussels
And all of those tussles
Time to sit back and enjoy the craic


They're opening a Tescos right next to us

They're opening a Tescos right next to us
This might be a source of some vex to us.
Late shopping at night
Hooting cars bringing blight
Th commotion aborting all sex for us.

A happy young bomber called Ali