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Jokes' Cupboard Thread, FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view) - By Pam Ayres of course..

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view) - By Pam Ayres of course.. The missus bought a ...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Derbyshire ......UK
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    Cool FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view) - By Pam Ayres of course..

    FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view) - By Pam Ayres of course..

    The missus bought a Paperback,
    down Shepton Mallet way,
    I had a look inside her bag;
    ... ... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
    Well I just left her to it,
    And at ten I went to bed.
    An hour later she appeared;
    The sight filled me with dread...
    In her left she held a rope;
    And in her right a whip!
    She threw them down upon the floor,
    And then began to strip.
    Well fifty years or so ago;
    I might have had a peek;
    But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
    She's eighty four next week!!
    Watching Mabel bump and grind;
    Could not have been much grimmer.
    And things then went from bad to worse;
    She toppled off her Zimmer!
    She struggled back upon her feet;
    A couple minutes later;
    She put her teeth back in and said
    I am a dominater !!
    Now if you knew our Mabel,
    You'd see just why I spluttered,
    I'd spent two months in traction
    For the last complaint I'd uttered.
    She stood there nude and naked
    Bent forward just a bit
    I went to hold her, sensual like
    and stood on her left tit!
    Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
    My god what had I done!?
    She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
    "Step on the other one"!!
    Well readers, I can't tell no more;
    About what occurred that day.
    Suffice to say my jet black hair,
    Turned fifty shades of grey
    Henry4u and arrozy like this.
    Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."~ Mark Twain,

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Derbyshire ......UK
    Posts
    8,433

    Default

    Not written by Pam either but good you have to agree .......

    Yer a borin bugger Barbara

    I've said it now, so theer

    I've bin wantin't gerrit off mi chest

    Fer nigh on fifteen year

    Ever since our weddin night

    When ya went to bed at nine

    Wi a mug o'soddin Horlicks

    An' Gardeners Question Time



    Yer a borin bugger Barbara I've never liked yer kit

    Them big ,thick ,itchy tights ya wear

    An' t mufflers that ya knit

    I'd love a spot o'passion

    If only once a year

    Wi' a chance to dive off t'wardobe

    And swing from t' chandelier




    Yer a borin bugger Barbara
    An 'I know it seems unkind

    But I'm glad I've found the gumption

    To say what's on mi mind

    I've craved exotic travel

    Per'aps Egypt or Assam

    But all we got were campin'

    In Prestatyn,wi yer mam




    Yer a borin bugger Barbara
    I'm determined to break free

    So I've drawn out all 'alf o'savings

    That we 'ad in TSB

    I saw this ad in t' paper sayin

    " Don't live yer life in t'closet

    In Thailand ya can be yerself"

    So I've sent off mi deposit




    Yer a borin bugger Barbara

    An' I'm tryin not yo gloat

    But I guess by now you've realised

    Just why I've left this note

    I'm going to swim wi dolphins

    Make love beneath the stars

    You get yerself that bike ya like

    Wi t' droppdown handlebars




    Yer a borin bugger Barbara
    Bit I'll miss thi in a way

    Sat'day nights in front o't' box

    Wi' us supper on a tray

    An' that brings to mind one final thing

    Be a shame to overlook

    Yer a borin bugger Barbara

    So I've sling mi bloody 'ook !!!
    arrozy likes this.
    Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."~ Mark Twain,

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    6,325

    Default

    I'm speechless....
    "Where there's a wall, there's a will."

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