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Clubroom Thread, Classic Insults and Put Downs

Classic insults and put downs. We have all heard them, possibly had people say them about us or we have ...

  1. #1

    Default Classic Insults and Put Downs

    Classic insults and put downs. We have all heard them, possibly had people say them about us or we have said to other people.


    Do You know any good ones?


    Two to get started:


    It's hard to believe, but the sperm that created him/her had to beat out 250 million other sperm


    His staff would follow him anywhere - if only out of curiosity.
    Last edited by tiddles; 28th-August-2012 at 04:54 PM.

  2. #2
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    Until he moved here our village was short of an idiot.

    Useless him?--well nobody would pee on him if he burst into flame.

    Level headed, well yes he dribbles out of both corners of his mouth at the same time.

  3. #3
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    The best part of him ran down his mother's leg.

  4. #4
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    Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was.

    Some day you will find yourself -- and wish that you hadn't.

    I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.

    You are down to earth, but not quite far down enough.

    At your speed, you'd better not stop your mouth too fast or your teeth will fly through your cranium.

    They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.

    You have a lot of well-wishers. They would all like to throw you down one.

    I heard you went to have your head examined, but the doctors found nothing there.

    I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?

    Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I'll arrange it with the undertaker.
    jeanjeannie, nordog and popie like this.
    Don't stop doing things because you are getting old.... as you will only get old if you stop doing things.

  5. #5
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    The French know how to do proper insults.
    French Taunting - Monty Python and the Holy Grail - YouTube
    If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.
    Albert Einstein

  6. #6
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    'A pity your mother didn't have twins - and drowned you both at birth.'
    Zooststorm with Windows 7

  7. #7
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    A classic once in a lifetime from my wife, who to this day doesn't know where the snappy rejoinder came from.

    In the ladies at a rather splendid place which had dressing room like lights around the mirrors. It was a big do, preparation had taken weeks

    MY wife "I hate these lights, they show very little wrinkle"

    Well known bitch, notorious for her acid tongue "Yes, I thought you were looking a bit haggard tonight"

    Wife "Well you cheeky bitch. I'd slap your face but I'm allergic to leather"

    The line spread very quickly and she go a standing ovation when she got back to the bar!

  8. #8
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    To a flasher

    "Oh yes, like a penis, only smaller"

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  10. #10
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    I never forget a face but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

    Groucho Marx
    If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.
    Albert Einstein

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